


Cultural Exchanges

by ZsforSs



Category: Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)
Genre: Alliances spoilers, Cool Big Brother Eli, Cultural Differences, Eli in Chissland, Epistolary, Gen, Humor, M/M, Probably Crack, like in the next tag, ozyly-eshembo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 01:13:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16052396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZsforSs/pseuds/ZsforSs
Summary: Transmission from Secure Node>>>>Decryption Program Run>>>>Sender: CDF/AAMessage:You knew this was going to happen didn't you?Attachments:  Notice from Admiral Ar'alani1/ Notice from Admiral Ar'alani2/ Notice from Admiral Ar'alani3





	Cultural Exchanges

Transmission from Secure Node>>>>Decryption Program Run>>>>

Sender: CDF/AA

Message: What have you done?

* * *

Transmission from Secure Node>>>>Decryption Program Run>>>>

Sender: IN/GAT

Message: Requesting Clarification.

* * *

Transmission from Secure Node>>>>Decryption Program Run>>>>

Sender: CDF/AA

Message:You knew this was going to happen didn't you?

Attachments: Notice from Admiral Ar'alani1/ Notice from Admiral Ar'alani2/ Notice from Admiral Ar'alani3

_____

Notice from Admiral Ar'alani to all CDF vessels

Regarding: 'Cootie' Infestations among the Ozyly-eshembo

 

There have been reports from Ozyly-eshembo across the fleet that their ships are infested with a type of small insect- referred to as 'cooties'. Male crew members are, apparently especially susceptible. The Ozyly-eshembo may create folder paper 'pincer' devices as a method of warding these microscopic insects.

If your Ozyly-eshembo believes your ship is infested there is no need to enact any foreign infestation protocols. 'Cooties' are fictional and pose no threat to any crew members. Please gently discourage your ozyly-eshembo from spreading any misinformation on this matter.

The Ozyly-eshembo may also be using the paper pincer devices-referred to as 'cootie catchers'- to perform some kind of fortune telling ritual. The veracity of this ritual is currently unknown. CDF leadership has determined there is no harm in allowing this practice to continue. Evidence suggests it boosts morale.

Please direct any additional questions to Commander Eli'Vanto.

_____

Notice from Admiral Ar'alani to all CDF vessels

Regarding: Strange Ozyly-eshembo Behavior- Avoiding Floors

 

Ozyly-eshembo across the Fleet have been engaging in odd behavior- refusing to walk on bare floors, carrying around pillows to stand on, and claiming the floor is 'made of lava.'

Do not be alarmed. This is a game the ozyly-eshembo have recently learned. CDF leadership has determined there is no harm in allowing this practice to continue, as the game improves reflexes, encourages critical thinking, and improves morale. If necessary it is suggested to gently remind your ozyly-eshembo that they are not to be playing during their shifts- or that “the bridge is a 'safe' space and the floor is not lava there.”

Please direct any additional questions to Commander Eli'Vanto.

_____

Notice from Admiral Ar'alani to all CDF vessels

Regarding: The 'Tooth Fairy'

 

At your earlier convenience please see if any ozyly-eshembo under your command know of a creature called 'the Tooth Fairy'. The Tooth Fairy is a fictitious creature that exchanges deciduous teeth that have fallen out with small amounts of currency or trinkets.

If they are unfamiliar with this creature then no further action is required on your part, but please continue reading and retain a copy of this message in case your ozyly-eshembo do become aware of this 'Tooth Fairy'.

If your ozyly-eshembo is aware of 'the Tooth Fairy' it has been determined by CDF leadership that in order to maintain morale among the ozyly-eshembo the fiction of this bizarre creature's existence must be maintained.

To do so allow your ozyly-eshembo to keep their displaced teeth instead of disposing of them immediately. The tooth is then placed under their pillow that night. At this point someone must swap the tooth with a small sum of money or a small toy, so that the next morning it appears the 'Tooth Fairy' has come and made the exchange. After this the teeth may be discarded as normal.

Please direct any additional questions or concerns to Commander Eli'Vanto.

* * *

Transmission from Secure Node>>>>Decryption Program Run>>>>

Sender: IN/GAT

Message: I was aware of these Imperial traditions. Is there a problem with the Commander sharing his culture with his new associates? It appears these cultural exchanges are having a positive effect on morale in the Fleet.

* * *

Transmission from Secure Node>>>>Decryption Program Run>>>>

Sender: CDF/AA

Message: I spent two hours last night trying to sneak a toy under a pillow without waking the _precognizant_ child sleeping on it.

If he wasn't dangerously good with numbers and an excellent officer I'd have had him moved to a desk job somewhere.

* * *

 

Transmission from Secure Node>>>>Decryption Program Run>>>>

Sender: IN/GAT

Message: I am glad to hear he is settling in well.

* * *

Transmission from Secure Node>>>>Decryption Program Run>>>>

Sender: CDF/AA

Message: I would say so, he's had three marriage proposals in the last month. Turned them all down quite politely. I hope you left him with a life-oath or something more substantial than happy memories. If not he might decide to actually take someone up on their offer before you get back. Your brother is certainly making a good case for himself.

* * *

Transmission from Secure Node>>>>Decryption Program Run>>>>

Sender: IN/GAT

Message: What.

**Author's Note:**

> Everything I've tried to write recently has gotten ridiculously long and angsty. I just wanted to write something cute and fun and short, so here's Eli teaching Chiss babies about human customs with a side of every Chiss thinks Eli is hot.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Cultural Exchanges [podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18852934) by [litrapod (litra)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/litra/pseuds/litrapod)




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